How To Get Elected To Bahai Institutions

Step 1
Wear nice clothes and be clean-cut.

Step 2
Attend every single Baha’i function and meeting. When you do, go around the room shaking hands and greet everyone by name. You should attend every single Ruhi book course – even if you’ve already taken it 4 times before.

Kick things into high gear when the new year rolls around. From January to April, you should be seen and heard by every single Baha’i in your community.

Step 3
Try to get on a high-profile committee that would give you as much public exposure as possible. Don’t toil away in the background doing actual work where no one can see you. For example, become a tutor and then get on the institute board. Or get on the feast committee so you can get face time with the whole community.

Step 4
As you walk around, casually carry with you a well-worn Baha’i book at all times -Creating a New Mind is trendy. Or try a Ruhi book. If anyone asks you about it, look away wistfully and say you’re re-reading it and every time you do, you get something new out of it.

Step 5
Speak up whenever there is a remote chance of an audience. Give mini-speeches, suggestions, pontificate or just ramble. Always have an opinion. And share it. It doesn’t matter that it is completely wrong. Just be forceful and revel in your own ignorance.

Can’t think of anything to say? Don’t worry. Just memorize some Baha’i-speak. Blurt out that “we need to prioritize capacity building and share learnings to implement the framework for action so that our pyramid advances us into a cluster status”. It doesn’t matter that what you just said makes no sense. All that matters is that you use the vocabulary of the International Teaching Center. And say it with confidence.